I’m quite late to the party. I’ve spent all 30 years of my life consuming very little caffeine, to this day I’ve never tried coffee.
Although I grew up around my grandparents, who are fuelled primarily with tea, I never picked up the habit to drink it myself. It could well be I’m just rather unadventurous in my beverages- mostly water with a rare juice or cola.
Plants don’t seem to be all that bothered by just drinking water, and so I’ve never questioned it. Yet I always have green tea in my cupboard for the uncommon and delightful event of making my own bubble tea. Bubble tea for me is like how others might view punch- a party in a bowl, but rarely seen outside of frivolous occasions. Bubble tea is really a treat.
But recently I have started to drink green tea on its own- hot from the boil in the early afternoon, to comfort a work from home lull near the end of the day.
I had never used caffeine the way others do- I have never used it to power through a difficult day or kick start me in the morning, I have always resigned to the fact that if I’m tired, I should sleep. And I rarely make it past 10pm.
But as I get older, and take on more work and more hobbies and responsibilities, I seem to get much more tired than in my twenties. Raring to go at 6 in the morning, but ready for bed by 6 in the evening. So this new discovery that tea can give you some extra valuable minutes in a day has been quite revelatory. It might seem a pathetic discovery, but the quiet moments I hug a warm cup, I’m comforted by the new activity.
With my cup of bitter and over-brewed green tea next to me, I’m grateful to have the opportunity to see things in a different light since working from home. If I hadn’t drunk the tea- this small corner of my blog would not exist. So perhaps there’s a tiny ray of hope for creativity, hidden in the warmth of every cup of cha.
Two orchids were left for dead in my workplace. Rather than throwing them away I requested I had them on my desk, just to see if they could be revived, even though I knew nothing about orchids or indeed any plants at all.
If we are trying to cultivate our own minds, we must start somewhere. Though we may not know exactly what we are doing, nor even where to start, the first step is just becoming aware that work needs to be done. Our discomforts, our worries, our challenges can often be the most prominent things our minds are preoccupied with, so we can start there. Our restlessness and relentless thoughts can be quite bewildering once we start to really listen to them. We might be filled with anxiety, preoccupied with past events or thoughts of what others are thinking about us. It’s not so useful to push these aside. We might be tempted to distract ourselves with activities that make us forget these feelings, and it might even help for a while. But these things have a remarkable way of cropping up again, only to make us spiral into a sea of self-doubt and confusion once again. But there is an alternative, one which requires us to develop a curious yet non-judgmental mind.
The orchids sat on my desk in silent respite for many months before any stir of new life appeared. Watering every so often and engaging them with daily quiet conversation and love, I hoped they still had the spark of life within them.
Meditation in the west has become synonymous with creating inner emptiness, silence, or ridding ourselves of “negative” feelings. It has been encouraged as a way to relax, as a way to escape. Traditionally meditation has not been seen as passive activity, it’s not somewhere we can dip into the silence to free us from a difficult experience.
Meditation is a tool for transformation; it’s not an easy task to sit with yourself and confront the realities of your mind. What you find is likely to be disturbing and make you question the very foundation of who you are. Meditation is not for the faint-hearted. We learn that those deepest secrets, our shame and our darkest fears are all still lurking beneath the surface we try so hard not to disturb. Through meditation we can begin to confront each thought and feeling as they arise, acknowledging them for what they are without judgment and allow them to pass, as they will, without grasping on to them. Taking time each day to simply be with those thoughts and feelings is time well spent, it begins to align us with the potential for change.
The tenderness it seemed, was paying off with my orchids. After a few months new shoots of stem began to rise from the base of the plants. The daily attention and work had been having an effect after all, though no visible signs had been showing until now.
With our meditation practice, to begin with it can seem like nothing is happening and that we aren’t progrelssing at all. Yet within us, all this silent and observant reflection is creating stronger roots and feeding us with the potential for new blossoms. Continuous practice- or the best that we can manage- focuses us and directs us on a path of intention. Perhaps the goal was a little foggy to begin with, but as we journey through the experience itself, meaning becomes more clear.
After months of nurture, a careful balance of food and attention, the orchids finally started to bloom. They had practiced their own patience and committed to their path of full realisation.
But just like the orchid, even when we reach our fullest potential and climb to the heights of enlightenment, we cannot sit back and just admire the beauty. The work must continue. We must always nurture the state of our mind through repeated practice. As it matures it may require a little less water, it may need a different kind of food.
We must be diligent to observe those changes and adapt our practice as we progress through the stages of development. We needn’t be harsh on ourselves nor too complacent, but find the right balance of what we need by growing to know our own mind.
Life is built by walking the rope between success and failure, good, bad, right, wrong. Falling through the gap can be liberating…
Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God,
First fill your own house with the fragrance of Love.
Go not to the temple to light candles before the altar of God,
First remove the darkness of sin from your heart.
Go not to the temple to bow down your head in prayer,
First learn to bow in humility before your fellowmen.
Go not to the temple to pray on bended knees,
First bend down to lift someone who is down trodden.
Go not to the temple to ask for forgiveness for your sins,First forgive from your heart those who have sinned against you.
-Rabindranath Tagore
What really is forgiveness? If we outwardly forgive someone of their “wrong doing” perhaps an element of our ego creeps into the equation. When we forgive someone we assume that they were wrong and we were right. But these assumptions of wrong and right are a product of our society, education, families and many other factors. There is no real truth in any assumption.
Again, if it is us who is seeking forgiveness for something we feel guilty for then this of course is an egoic act. We need the other person to tell us they are ok. We need them to make us feel better.
If forgiveness is only enhancing our ego, then what alternative is there?
We could be indifferent but indifference could err on the side of uncaring. We could just ignore, but then is the problem really resolved or just underlying somewhere?
We could be accepting, whether we are the one seeking forgiveness or forgiving, we may be better placed to just allow the water to pass under the bridge. Bringing up old problems might make the other person feel guilt or animosity. The kindest act on both parties would be to accept and move on.
If the rift has caused you both to drift apart and after sometime you are reunited, perform maitri, well-wishing thoughts towards the other regardless of looking to give or receive forgiveness. Maitri can always be done, whether you see the person or not.
The act of acceptance and moving on is the truest form of forgiveness, neither holding tightly to our superiority nor pushing away the negativity we are responsible for. Forgiveness can exist as the in-between state, as the observer and non-judging. We should let go of any expectations of being forgiven, and surrender to the pursuit of accepting things as they are.
The highest education is that which does not merely give us information, but makes our life in harmony with all existence.
Rabindranath Tagore
Why are our temples so heavily adorned with images, patterns and designs?
Climb to the top of Chartres Cathedral, out onto the roof and rafters and you see the stone carvings at the very top of the building are just as intricately detailed as those at the very bottom. These images are never intended to be seen by the average worshipper, they sit in the sky only to be looked upon by an omnipresence.
Perhaps the images we see from ground inspire us to look up. Perhaps they remind us of the infinitude of creation and celebrate in the limits of the temple the unlimitedness of the universe .
Perhaps the imagery is a way to focus our attention, we come to the peace of the temple from our chaotic lives outside and return to introspection and contemplation. It breaks us away and allows cool moments of stillness. Art breathes a trace of the Ultimate Love into us, awe captivates us and overwhelms us, gently nudging us into the feeling of separatelessness.
The memory of a single image is something we can take away with us after we leave the temple. We hold it in our minds eye, and remember the peace we had at that moment.
Ultimately our endeavour is to realise that the temple isn’t outside of us, but while on our path, may it be illuminated by the beauty of art.
Heart-mind joined as the loving twins, Both married to the truth of the self from within, Both reaching for the innocence from where they begin. Each ventures out on their lonely path, Both longing to return to their forgotten hearth. Mind without heart is knowledge thus; Heart without mind is simply lust. When both hand in hand On their journey go, Mind learns to love, And heart learns to know. Now in their haven, Their shelter, their home, Past time mistakes each other forgoes. These two long lost lovers Reunited at last, Each loves the other For the Truth that they are.
AH
Often when we feel wronged by other people, we can treat them in way that is cruel and not compassionate. We deride them for bad behaviour, punish them for doing “the wrong thing” forgetting we too are not faultless and make mistakes.
Vedanta teaches us the ultimate aim is remove all separateness from all things, to see the “other” as your own, to dissolve your sense of I into to the oneness that is.
On the path, we come up against stumbling blocks to this realisation. We fight against those things by which we feel wronged, by people who have misguided or hurt us.
Dishonesty is one of those challenges. Though honesty may be the painful choice, its wisdom ultimately liberates the teller and the told. Truth is powerful, it’s potent with the energy of change.
Truth in any form can only be given to those who have the stability and steadiness of mind to process and handle the truth in most effective manner. Those who are wise to the truth must be careful also to not throw back this charged knowledge in haste. The holder of any truth is always armed not only with liberation but the potential for destruction, so we must be wise with whom we entrust our truths.
And trust is the key component of delivering truth, trust is the hand we hold in our most vulnerable times. The one we choose to trust hovers over us like a parent. We need them to love us unconditionally, without reprimand, without judgement.
Love is the precursor to trust, and trust the precursor to honesty, therefore all honesty is given out of love.
We must avoid the temptation of being dishonest for our own gain, whether in business, relationships or anything else, because by giving someone else the privilege of truth we are in fact showing them respect, love and compassion.
The ego, as defined by a simple google search is “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” Many philosophies talk about ridding the self of ego, but to lose one’s self worth- or self esteem is not the actual intention behind that quest for removing the ego. If we fixate ourselves on having no self-esteem or self-importance, we are still clinging to the fact that we have no self-esteem or self-importance, and that clinging is the ego. To have or to not have is not the ultimate goal of liberating oneself of the ego, or of any other mind-matter. It is to exist with of an awareness of the ego, but not to be part of it. The Self can observe the fluctuations in ego, it can watch, as if tides of the sea coming and going. It can be aware, yet not take part. The ego is responsible for the sense of “i-ness” the thoughts that make us think we are good, bad, strong, weak, ugly, beautiful, talented, useless. It is also responsible for a sense of guilt, that we have done something wrong. The reality of these feelings are that they exist as something we have learned, when as children we are scolded for certain behaviour, or praised for another.
In later life if we are scolded for doing something “wrong” we are merely recoiling at the possiblity of getting hurt, either physically or emotionally.
Guilt should not be our moral compass, it just indicates what we learned to be good or bad throughout life. We are perhaps just as damaged to go in the opposite direction, to feel a sense of vindication or guiltlessness. Again, our ego boosts us far above the reality of the situation, that we are the heroes, when in truth we are merely the observer.
So ego is neither good nor bad, it just is. We can better spend our time allowing the observation of things, and watch as the changes pass over us, and not allow them to become us.
